


Heartaches

by Lazy Ramen (stressedsushi_117)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: AU - Blackbird, Alternate Universe - Human, Fluff and Mush, Hanatamago Family, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, Memories, Slice of Life, This just takes a turn for the worse, implied dementia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27608693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressedsushi_117/pseuds/Lazy%20Ramen
Summary: A sweet memory of Tino and Berwald enjoying each other's presence, only to be brought back in the miserable present.
Relationships: Finland & Sweden (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), Sealand & Sweden (Hetalia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Heartaches

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to @tofuubee (Insta) for helping revise this story!!
> 
> I wrote this on a whim a month ago and decided to come back to it, hope it isn't too angsty. I might also write more of these if I can, but for now this is it. One more thing, the song in this fic is "Heartaches" by Al Bowlly, would recommend you listen to the Caretaker version to get the feel of the tempo. Enjoy : )

Berwald looked up from the novel he was reading to find Tino going over to the fireplace and poking at the already died out flame. The only lightsource in the room was from the fire and the dim lamp beside Berwald to read his book, the room getting darker as the minutes progressed. Besides the lighting, Berwald forgot why they’d even lit the fireplace, only to be reminded that outside was pouring and below freezing. Winters in America aren't as bad as those in Sweden but are still cold enough for him to need his sweater. The pattering of the rain was loud enough to block out the sound of the fire, it was quite deafening if he were honest to himself. 

Still tending to the fire in front of him, Tino found it amusing to see how his husband was able to read in the loud environment.

Berwald glanced to where Hanatamgo was sleeping, smiling to himself when he saw her resting peacefully in front of the couch. The poor thing was stranded in the rain a couple weeks back, her only company in the wet cardboard box that read “Please Take Her”. Berwald couldn’t possibly have turned her away, and prompted to take her home. The utter shock from the small Finnish man was expected, however they decided to take her in. Berwald wondered how Tino came up with “Hanatamago”, but didn’t question it as she started to get used to the odd name.

Tino stood up after putting more wood in the fireplace, the flame glistening and bringing a lot more light and warmth than they needed. He walked over to where Berwald was lying down, promptly sitting in front of the couch, gently petting Hana. Tino sat there silently for a couple of minutes until he turned around to look at Berwald.

"Is it alright if I turn on the radio?" Tino asked, shifting from his spot on the floor to completely face Berwald. The man had his signature smile on his face, the one Berwald couldn’t resist.

He looked up from his book and nodded in response, which Tino learned was a confirmation. After getting up and walking towards the edge of the couch, Tino went over to the radio perched on the end table, nimbly tuning it to the station that played oldies 24/7. He then walked towards the kitchen, leaving Berwald to his reading as he made a small snack for himself. The rain was falling harder now, but was eventually forgotten after the radio diligently started playing.

Their home was the best thing to have happened to Berwald and Tino, they never needed much in their life ever since they started dating. The two were average broke college students that were in desperate need of sleep, never minding each other until they met in their freshman orientation. One could say it was fate, but when Tino asked Berwald out, it never crossed his mind before. Next thing you know, Berwald and Tino both graduated and eventually settled down in the quaint home on the edge of town, finding Hana along the way. The two started what was their perfect family.

_Family... _even saying that felt unreal to Berwald. How could someone like him be blessed with the life he has? Surely this was too good to be true. He was soon snapped out of his thoughts when Hanatamago jumped onto the couch, settling down near his legs.__

Berwald set his book down on the floor, and reached over to where Hana was laying, only to put her on his stomach as she settled down once again. He then took off his glasses and let them sit on top of his book, rubbing his strained eyes after all that reading. He then placed his hands on Hana's back, slowly petting her in smooth strokes. 

Yeah, this really is too good to be true. He lay back again, closing his eyes listening to the radio and the ambiance of the fire crackling, Tino shuffling quietly in the kitchen. Hopefully he wasn't planning on making actual food; that would’ve prompted Berwald to get up and cook for the two of them himself. After hearing Tino work around the kitchen for a while, he finally heard the Fin stopping his movements, only to speak quietly. 

"Berwald, where did you put the milk? I could have sworn I left it on the top shelf..." asked Tino, his voice slowly fading as he spoke. 

"Check the shelf again, it should be there." 

"Oh…" This made Berwald open one eye and look to where the kitchen was, getting concerned. 

"Oh, now I see it. Thank you," Tino said back, a little louder so that Berwald could hear him. 

Recently, Berwald noticed how much Tino has been forgetting where things were, not to mention how often his migraines were becoming a problem for the poor man. Surely it must be the stress work has on him. After all, being a nurse has its ups and downs with a tight work schedule. It still doesn't explain why Tino kept forgetting about important deadlines either, it's like there's something that keeps him from remembering. 

'He's just stressed, stop worrying about it.' Berwald thought. He'll admit that he does get concerned for him too often, and will back off if there's ever a problem with personal boundaries. He must be out of his mind to think something was going on, Tino was still the clumsy guy he met at college all those years ago. 

After lying there with Hana for a while, he then heard a clicking noise. Berwald opened his eyes and saw Tino with a camera, a small grin plastered on his face. 

"I couldn't help it, you and Hana look so cute. I wish I could capture memories like this more often" Tino chuckled, bending down to show Berwald the newly taken photo. He always had the habit of taking pictures unexpectedly, Berwald didn't mind since it eased the other man whenever he got stressed. After setting the camera back onto its shelf, Tino perked up at the song that was currently playing. The melody in the beginning was so unique that there wasn't another song like it, and Tino could never forget the melody being played by the swing band. He quickly made his way over to Berwald, tugging on the sleeve to alert Berwald that he wanted to dance. 

"Come on Ber, you know how much I love this song!" 

Berwald chuckled as his response, a small smile appearing before him as he got up and took Tino's hand into his own. The two stood in front of each other, swaying back and forth while Berwald's hand rested on Tino’s back, and Tino's on Berwald’s chest. 

_Heartaches, heartaches  
My loving you meant only heart breaks  
Your kiss was such a sacred thing to me  
I can't believe it's just a burning memory _ __ _ _

__

__

__

____

__

___'They must have slowed this song down' Berwald thought, though it could have been a different cover of the same song both he and Tino knew so well. They continued to sway with occasional turns to match the music, the tempo of the song matching their movements respectively. Tino separated from Berwald to turn them both around, one hand now on Berwald’s shoulder while the other held onto his hand. As he separated, Berwald moved one hand to Tino's cheek, caressing him as they still danced to the music, making Tino’s face grow warmer._ _ _

_Heartaches, heartaches  
What does it matter how my heart breaks  
I should be happy with someone new  
But my heart aches for you _ __ _ _

_____Even though Berwald couldn't see a thing, he could faintly make out the grin forming on Tino's face as they continued to dance for a little longer. It’s these little things that made him the happiest man on earth._ _ _ _ _

_____He had everything he could ever want._ _ _ _ _

_____The music kept on playing, then slowly started fading in the background as he kept Tino close to him. He planted a kiss on Tino's forehead, making him let out a drawn out chuckle. He could never get sick of his laugh, it was so contagious that Berwald couldn't stop smiling. The music went back to its usual fast paced tempo, leaving the two standing in the middle of the living room. Rain still kept on hitting the roof, feeling as though the storm would never end._ _ _ _ _

_____Berwald broke off from Tino's hand just to hug him, simply taking in the warmth that radiated from the smaller man. He and Tino stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, but the body next to him made him never want to let go. The room felt a lot warmer than before, the radio continuing the next song after the other. Tino looked up from Berwald's chest, smiling at the taller man for giving him the best life he could have asked for._ _ _ _ _

_____"I love you"  
"Mm, love you too"_ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____The alarm buzzed directly into his ear, making the older man groan in annoyance at 7 in the morning. He hadn't slept a wink after working on his project until 2 the same day, but he knew he had to get it done or else he wouldn't have gone to bed. Reaching over to stop the noise continuing, he noticed a cup of water and his morning pills laid out neatly with a small note next to it. He promptly grabbed his glasses along with the note and opened it, noticing how the person who wrote it didn't have the greatest handwriting, but it was still legible enough to read what the message was. His eyes scanned the note for what it felt like an eternity, not really being a morning person after so many years._ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

> For you.
> 
> \- Peter 

After pulling back the sheets of his bed, he sat up just to take in a deep breath. He then grabbed the five pills and swallowed them, feeling the bitter taste run down the back of his throat. Deciding that he shouldn’t waste anything, he grabbed the paper cup and started drinking, water spilling from the sides of his mouth, getting his shirt wet.

'Another day' he said to himself, clearly not amused during the early hours of the day to check on something important. This was not necessarily work related, but it did hold something of importance, maybe even more so than his actual work. If he keeps on pushing back deadlines for his boss, he could lose his job. Not that it was on his mind, he only produced the best work if he was sure of himself. 

It's been 10 years and he still isn't sure of most things.

Ever since Tino had passed away, Berwald had completely given up his hopes of continuing his life the same again. He wasn't the same person as before, but once again a hermit after all these years. Whenever Matthias or Lukas called, he'd leave them on voice-mail most of the time. It was quite concerning for the two, eventually making Matthias break into Berwald’s home one night, wanting to see if his brother was even alive. Luckily someone had woken Berwald from his sleep to make sure Matthias didn't damage his door. That's a story for another day. 

Nothing in his life mattered much, except the memories of his married life that kept him going. Memories like that one promise he made for Tino, and he was determined to make it a reality with or without him. Although Tino forgot the promise himself, Berwald still hadn't forgotten after 20 years. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of barking and laughter coming from the room next door. Berwald stood up, stretching his arms above his head, and made his way over to the door and towards the living room.

There, he saw a small boy with a green sweater and pants, black socks becoming more worn as time went on. He sat down on the floor petting Hanatamago who was lying on her side, panting after what it felt like fifteen minutes of play. She was getting old, clearly not as active as the puppy she was 12 years ago. Even though she may appear tired, it's quite obvious she is still her playful self whenever she got to be with the small boy. Peter hadn't noticed Berwald walking in on them, but he did notice a change in Hana after she jumped off the couch just to be picked up by the tall man. Peter looked up from where he was sitting, soon after smiling and giving his usual greeting.

"Good morning Papa! I was just taking care of Hana after she and I went outside-"

"Your ear," Berwald stated, cutting off Peter making his way towards the boy.

Berwald bent down just to turn Peter's head to the side, looking at the cords that connected his head to his neck. Peter had somehow yanked and broken the cord that controlled his visual function, the one that helped Peter be able to see color. The three wires all served a purpose for his different senses: sight, sound, and scent. Not like the boy needed ones for taste and touch, as those were the more complicated ones to build. He let Hana go back onto the couch, seeing her whine as she wanted the attention from the two individuals in the room. Berwald stood up, holding out his hand so that Peter could hold onto it.

"Come on, let's go fix it."

Berwald headed towards the office he kept locked most of the time, worried that someone would come and take most of the stuff that's worth more than his own home. It's the same material he takes from his work just to use it on Peter, and it's the only way he can have spare parts for the boy. He never looked at his son like a machine, he truly was a small boy that was curious about most things in life. He enjoyed things like the critters in the garden and playing in the rain even though it can ruin most of his viable functions. It was a reflection of Berwald's love that created him, his own heart and soul was poured into the machine he called his son. He was the only reason why he had the smallest of hope that things will get better.

He was Tino's promise.

Peter yanked on Berwald's shirt, noticing his papa hadn't opened the door yet. This usually happens when Berwald is in deep thought about something, but he isn't sure what keeps his father distracted. Maybe one day he'll work up the courage to do so, but for now he has to prepare for the upcoming boredom of him sitting on a metal table for an hour or two.

Peter was ushered into the coldest room of the house, hearing his papa shut the door behind him and lock it. Hana jumped down from the couch and went towards the same door, smelling underneath it knowing that’s where the two went.

She circled twice before lying down, the sounds of drilling were the only noise in the empty home, and will continue to be heard until the late evening.


End file.
